Spike's Journal

Being the ramblings of Revan "Spike" Alleyspawn, about his misadventures in what he believes to be the World's Largest Dungeon.

Coldeven 5: Asilky's Speech (Day 3)

Well, we took a little while to find a place to rest, but we finally have. There's a room here where a horrible gigantic spider-like creature was killed by a small bald guy with a spear. Apparently in the final battle they killed each other, because when we found them, they were still there, frozen in combat at the moment of their deaths.

Eaora and Asilky put their heads together, and concluded that the large creature was a demon called a retriever. I didn't like the sound of that, and asked what, exactly they were said to "retrieve". Nobody seemed sure. The spear was magical, so we broke up the tableau to claim it. Hopefully it will come in handy.

After that, we made camp, and Lo-Kag cooked the Krenshar we'd killed earlier in the day. It wasn't great. After dinner, Asilky had something to say. Here it is as best as I can get it written down. (I probably should have taken notes.)

"OK, in light of our recent encounter with the celestial I think a confession is in order. I have never been successful in the priesthood. In fact many have questioned why I have not given up the trade. Well the truth be told I have often considered it but for some reason Boril would not listen to my requests to leave his service. I think perhaps now I understand why. Let me explain.

"Boril Ironbeard is one of the minor Dwarf god’s. He is not blessed with a strong following but there are points in any dwarf’s life that he will pay tribute to Boril. His domain is that of law and justice. Those who serve Boril are few in number but our services are valuable throughout the clans. For the most part the clerics of Boril, Adjudicators as we are known, travel throughout the dwarven realms acting as impartial judges on all cases brought before them. An adjudicators strength is his ability to weigh the evidence brought before him and then to discern a true and just settlement to any dispute. Impartiality is his constant companion and ally so that none would question his verdict. That is where my troubles start.

"For you see I have a certain 'problem'. I have never been very good at seeing shades of grey. I tend to see right and wrong, good and evil. There are cases when a bad person can be in the right, and a good person can be in the wrong. When that happens I am at a loss. Can evil ever be right?

"Suffice it to say that my many years as an acolyte of Boril seemed pointless to the Adjudicators that I was assigned to. Each time I was assigned to be aid to a new priest they would test me. Each in turn tried to mold my perceptions. Finally each in the end would suggest that I take up a different trade. Their wishes however were not Boril's. I have prayed often for guidance and Boril would always assure me that my time would come. I personally find it is best not to argue with a deity, no matter how 'minor' others say he is.

"So it was that the high priest sent me out into the world to 'get a greater understanding of Boril and how he works even in other realms'. Simply put they were tired of dealing with me. My travels were many and tedious, and not worth wasting your time over, but I seemed no closer to gaining favor in my god's eyes. I began to think I was being punished for some misstep I had made, and when we first landed in this festering dungeon I was certain of this. As of late however I am thinking that this is why Boril has so long held me in his service. Boril is with me now more then ever, and my abilities have grown dramatically in only a few days. Some things ARE simply evil, and it is a different brand of justice that is reserved for them. Here I see right and wrong, and my justice can be swift and final. If the need arises for diplomacy I have been fully trained, but since so many of the rest of you seem eager to talk I will hold my skills in reserve until the need arises."

Well, time for me to turn in. I've got a watch tonight, and I'm going to have to be sharp. We've heard some terrified screams, and it's possible our cooking fire will attract whatever caused them. I'm also not feeling very well.

Blogger Glenn writes...

My accounting:
    Enemies Defeated: 0 (38 total)
    Traps Encountered: 0 (5 total)
    Wealth Acquired: 32,000 gp (54,446gp total)
    Food Remaining: 10 days.
Interesting Acquisitions:
    Magic Spear (32,000 gp)

Anonymous Anonymous writes...

Boril Ironbeard is Lawful Neutral. He believes in Law and order and that it be decided upon in a fair and impartial method. My take is that in this setting where evil has been imprisoned justice takes on a different tone. That is why Asilky is flourishing and advancing so rapidly here. --Kerry

Anonymous Anonymous writes...

I'd intended Spike's Exchange Axiom to be a general reflection on his amoral nature. Amusingly, some searching for "pay slowly, collect quickly" at ask.com found the post about B.B., which lead me to do a search as well. According to this page of Sicilian Proverbs, Spike is not alone in his reasoning:

Sìggiri prestamenti, pagari tardamenti; cu' sa qualchi accidenti, non si ni paga nenti.Collect promptly, pay slowly; who knows, in case of an accident, you'll pay nothing.

Yipes! Remind me not to loan anything to a Sicilian, eh?
          -- Spike's Keeper

Anonymous Anonymous writes...

Modern business practices apparently share this view.

Blogger LoKag writes...

K and LoKag's Goliath Roast Krenshar

1 Medium Krenshar Carcass, field dressed
1 handful random edible mushrooms
1/2 cup Uncle Firstnar's Ice Pepper Sauce
Salt to taste

Hang carcass from large spear and carry it around for most of the day. Tenderize by dropping when in combat. Find a well ventilated area and start a good size cooking fire.

Skin and wash carcass and then impale on spear. Place carcass over fire and turn regularly. Salt lightly and carefully baste using small amounts of Ice pepper sauce.
Carve thin slices from the outside as it cooks and continue until you run out of meat.

Serves 4 Goilaths, 6 smaller party members, or, based on our experience, about 2000 elves.

Note: If serving to some of the frailer species, you may want to use less pepper sauce, as they appear too weak to properly enjoy it. Goilaths and Dwarves should be able to handle it though.


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